I wonder if anyone has ever killed their spouse because of working together?
It’s been just over a month since I starting working with my husband, and even after such a short period of time, I can now fully understand how easy it is to have murderous thoughts.
There are couples who can mesh their home and work lives seamlessly and successfully, then there are couples who just can’t make both work simultaneously. I was hoping that the latter would not be true in our case, yet the signs are clearly on the wall. Peace has grown wings and taken flight, leaving us to snarl, snap and bicker with each other at will.
The problems we experienced with each other at home has cascaded into our working environment. Only now I feel like there is no reprise, no space to escape and no time to gain any perspective. We are in each other’s hair 24/7 with no distinction between work and play.
To reiterate, I do love my husband dearly. Although our relationship has been tumultuous and challenging from the get-go, it has been rewarding. We have found – and continue to find – ways to make our personal relationship work despite our differences. So, given that we are still exploring means and ways to live together harmoniously, I have to consider that perhaps I was too quick to think it would be plain sailing to also work together?
Bad timing has its own part to play. While we’ve always talked about me coming to work in his business, we planned it for a year or two down the line. The surprise of my retrenchment put a spanner in the works and bullied us into pushing our plans forward. Subsequently, I’m convinced all of this has made my husband question his sanity in suggesting we work together in the first place!
Boundaries and truces
I read somewhere that husbands and wives who work together have to apply the same rules that exist in their marriages to how they work together. For example, if the couple see each other as equal partners in the marriage, well then they have to be equal partners in the workplace – a manager/sub-ordinate relationship just wouldn’t work in this case.
Defining boundaries and setting the grounds for a mutually beneficial working experience is tantamount to success.
We didn’t do these things. That leaves us having to take ten steps back in order to move a few steps forward again. I’m now on the verge of a new dilemma: do I admit defeat and sell my soul by heading back into the corporate working world to save my marriage, or do I continue to try to make a success of our working arrangement which would mean having to wave the white flag and suck it up in the hope of things eventually getting better? This fork in the road is a new twist for sure; I only wish I had a crystal ball to make the choice easier.