Why is the ‘chase’ just so thrilling?

I’m not sure what it is, but the thrill of the chase is a much coveted game between the sexes.  Ok, I lie; I too love a bit of mystery and a few breadcrumbs along the trail when in hot pursuit. 

By now you should have realised that I am an undercover psychologist.  I missed my true calling to be a clinical psychologist, but nevertheless I still love analysing the reasons behind why people do and act certain ways.

Man chasing woman

Image from billyspostcards.com

Relationship experts and psychologists seem to allude to a few elements that define why the chase is so exciting.  Ego and man’s natural competitive nature to desire the unattainable are high on the list.

In an article in the Huffington Post UK, “Men Really Do Prefer The Thrill Of The Chase, Say Scientists”, relationship expert Dr. Pam Spurr is quoted as saying that “almost everyone – men and women – put a certain added ‘value’ on to something that’s not easily attainable. This is why can feel so good to save up for something like a special dress or handbag – and when you get it just feels priceless”. Dr. Spurr says that “it’s the same with sex and the classic chase – many men find the chase exciting and it strikes their ego to feel they’re the one who is finally going to get her attention – and into bed. Add to this the fact that men are very goal focused and an elusive goal can seem all that much more interesting”.

I think this basically sums up the intentions behind the ‘thrill of the chase’.  Yet I would not be me if I didn’t seek out further viewpoints – so I decided to ask a few friends what they thought on the topic.  I posed these three questions to four different people and here are their thoughts:

Friend 1 (Male)

Why do you think men like the chase so much?
“I think it’s a well documented fact that men are “hunters” – it stands to reason then that they like the chase.”

What is the ultimate goal?
“The ultimate goal is to make the object of desire his own.”

What happens when the chase is over?
“The chase is never really over, it just changes context. I think the woman should always ensure that she keeps the man chasing…”

Friend 2 (Female)

Why do you think men like the chase so much?
“It is an instinctive behaviour, almost an animal instinct.  Men are programmed as the ‘hunters’, it is part of their identity to go out and acquire things, on a most basic level food, shelter, a partner; and as we evolved, men no longer have to physically hunt for food, they focus on other ‘hunting activities’ – women, wealth, status, power, adventure etc.”

What is the ultimate goal?
“In adolescence and early adult life, the chase is a learning process – what behaviour gets what sort of results, as men mature they now have the skills to ‘hunt’ for their life partner. To a large extent, men never stop the ‘hunting game’ – all men want the affirmation that they are capable of ‘chasing and capturing’ someone’s attention or heart.” 

What happens when the chase is over?
“For some this means moving into a new phase of life and settling down, building a home and working with their partners to fulfil their joint life goals.  For others, they lose interest and need the thrill of a new ‘chase’.”

Friend 3 (Male):

Why do you think men like the chase so much?
“I don’t think its limited to the male species. Maybe from an anthropological and evolutionary point of view it could be justified that because men were the hunters way back when we still express some of those prehistoric traits from our ancestors – but now more than ever the fairer sex from Generation Y are becoming more assertive more dominating.”

What is the ultimate goal?
”It’s all about asserting your dominance, scaling up  your ego, proving that you are more than even you think you are, or maybe playing up a fantasy hidden somewhere in the deepest darkest depths of your conscience. Also, let his be known no one ‘chases’ another person knowing that they won’t ‘get’ them.”

What happens when the chase is over?
“For most – it’s onto the next challenge. There is always an insatiable urge in whatever context. People are always chasing something:  romance, friendship, sex, acknowledgement, sadism. Generally, people are F!@#ked up!”

Friend 4 (Female):

Why do you think men like the chase so much?
“Only if women pose a challenge do men chase them.  If things come to easy for men they lose interest and the novelty or excitement  is over.”

What is the ultimate goal?
“Men like to be stimulated.”

What happens when the chase is over?
“Many guy friends have said to me if a woman gives it up to quick and easy nothing is left for them to be excited about.”


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4 thoughts on “Why is the ‘chase’ just so thrilling?

  1. An Urban Mystic April 5, 2013 at 07:54 Reply

    Good one Teatart. Thanks! :-)


  2. Samantha Baker April 5, 2013 at 14:44 Reply

    So so true. When talking to my husband about his affairs and his sex addiction, one of the things he said he enjoyed was…”the chase”. Once that part was over, so was his excitement.


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