It’s the age-old debate: can men and women be “just friends”? Most women will agree that they can. But I’m a cynic at heart; and this particular topic has remained at the top of my unsolvable mysteries list.
Hear me out. Men and women are wired completely differently. Generally women are the more emotional of the species. I would go as far as to say that women often fall in love emotionally and mentally long before the physical element kicks-in. How else can you explain a tall good-looking woman with a short, fat and balding man? I would like to believe that women have the perplexing ability to see beyond the physical from the off-set. She can delve beneath all the bravado into the very soul of a man.
Men, on the other hand, may be a little less complicated. I’m talking more on the line of an “Ugga Ugga, me see, me want” model variation that thankfully ensures the survival of the human race through his sheer desire to populate the earth.
When a man is hunting for his special partner, he is an obliging and amicable creature that aims to please his female companion in just about everything he does. However, he faces one sizable risk when wooing a girl, and that is falling into that dreaded friendship abyss. You know the one I’m referring to: the comfortable space within which a woman now views the man as her long-lost best friend. I hate to say this, but it needs to be said. Once a woman has set her mind on a man being her friend, not much can sway her decision.
This leads me to my conclusion: in most male-female friendships, it’s usually the man who hopes for more. Of course, whether he acts on his feelings is an entirely different scenario. I’m sure it is often the fear of rejection that stops many a brave man cold in his tracks.
That said, I’ve become more and more convinced of late that, besides the hope of a potential relationship, the reality of the specific circumstances surrounding a man-woman friendship actually has a much bigger role to play.
Call it fate, or a twisted turn of events, but sometimes we meet a potential someone at the wrong juncture in our lives, and we therefore settle for a platonic friendship simply because there is no other choice.
For example, I was once convinced that a close male friend was my perfect equal. At that stage he was in a relationship whereas I was not. I allowed myself to contemplate if things could’ve turned out differently between us if we had met before he was attached.
The “what ifs” and “maybes” are life’s cruel temptations. Maybe this is what makes male-female friendships a phenomenon that will not cease to exist anytime soon? The hope of something more than friendship on the part of the one person? Or the romantic thought of “what if” the situation was different?
Or perhaps I’ve gotten it all wrong …again!